when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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