garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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