Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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