once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize