sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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