i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
