I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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