Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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