New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
