i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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