I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
