We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
