Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Go christen that room with your naked body.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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