You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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