is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
cat food counts as protein by the way
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The air was thick with penises
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize