is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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