dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
