Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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