There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
