My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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