I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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