that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
