What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
