I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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