I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
