It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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