We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
