But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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