i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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