Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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