Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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