Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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