he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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