Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
