I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
