i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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