Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
