bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
