i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
