yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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