Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
