we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
