And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
