come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
