some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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