FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
