Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
someone owes me an orgasm
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
