That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
