Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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