you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
