If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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