You just made me feel so damn special
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
