Life is so much better after having sex.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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