i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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