somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
