I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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