That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize